We cannot avoid all conflicting events or adversarial situations and people.
In your business, career and personal life, learning to exercise control of emotions can be a challenge. It is the differences in our values, beliefs, cultural and social backgrounds which are activated when our perceptions put us on the defense, or offense. If we add situations which affect our finances, and status to the mix, the perfect storm is always lurking, waiting to erupt. Sarah Elkins in her book, ‘Your Stories Don’t Define you. How You Tell Them Will’, devotes an entire chapter in knowing yourself and your motivations, and this is something we all need to know, to help in taking on the storms of life. There is a story Sarah shares in her book, on retelling unflattering stories about her boss, and expressing her anger and feelings with folks she knows, and her hubby, advising, “….when you share those stories, you aren’t making yourself look good. Being insulting like that about your boss leaves a poor reflection on you.” By now you’re wondering what does this have to do with taking on the storms? Well, there are different categories of storms and when we build up negative feelings about others, our storm gets pressure and can grow into a hurricane! I also have a lot of experience with this – trust me it happens without awareness, and its not good for developing the best you!
During anger, anxiety, uncertainty and emotional upheaval, one should find the eye of the storm and wait. Calm yourself. Move from 100 to zero, through stepping away, and focus on yourself. Take control of you, and become the eye of the storm in your storm. One of the things I’ve learnt to do is listen, and then ask for time to return with a response, never allowing anyone to force any type of words from me. Then I do something unrelated, and after a 30 to 90 minutes, get back to the conversation. By this time the pressure building has been reduced and everyone can hear and discuss calmly.
There are also situations where removing self from an environment is needed, and especially at this point strategy and planning are necessary. Do not make a decision which will have a long term financial or personal impact in haste or during an emotional storm. Out-ride the storm on your terms before riding-out the storm – ending relationship on a good or neutral note . In business relationships, there are storms which turn into hurricanes devastating all parties, it eventually comes to an end with everyone losing due to poor communication or ‘bad faith’. Be aware that your thoughts and concerns may be mirrored by others about you!
Spending time with yourself to understand your trigger reactions and actions is key to managing life’s storms in all areas of life. Keep centered, and adapting to conqueror whatever comes your way. Indeed, you can discover your hidden strengths on your journey to success and accomplishment!
Let’s grow and learn about ourselves and become stronger!
If you’d like to discuss the above as it relates to your business or enterprise send me an email and will be happy to schedule a meeting!
Give Hope to all you meet and watch the world grow!
Copyright © 2021 Donna-Luisa Eversley. All Rights Reserved. Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org to book business consultancy, coaching and speaking services.
Credits Photos : Photo Credits: unsplash.com/Keegan Houser /Felipe Giocometti